Teach your child to say "no"

Teaching your child to understand and set their own personal boundaries can help them to better respect themselves and their needs, as well as the needs and limits of others. This can improve self confidence and relationships with their peers.

But when, where, and how do you even start? Bend Therapist Mary Zanko, LCSW, is here to help you get the conversation going with your child so that they can feel heard and respected by the people around them. 

Try these tips today to let your child know that they’re own personal boundaries matter so much: 

1. Make a plan. Help your child make a plan for what to do when someone isn’t respecting their boundaries so that they feel prepared. For example, ask, “What are some ways you could let your friend know that you don’t like when she touches your hair without asking?” Offer up phrases like “Please don’t do that” or “I don’t like when you _____.”
2. Practice empathy. The ability to imagine what it’s like to walk in another person’s shoes is a key ingredient when it comes to building healthy relationships. Ask your child to take these steps when someone around them is experiencing a big feeling, like sadness or anger: :

• Look at their body language.
• Listen to their words to help you understand how they’re feeling. 
• Ask them how they feel. 
• Think before speaking. Ask yourself, what would I want someone to say to me? 

Practice saying “NO.” Help your child understand the power of the word “no.” This simply starts with learning that when anyone says “no” to something, it should be heard and stopped.