Giving the gift of gratitude this holiday season

The thrill of receiving gifts can make it difficult for kids and teens to slow down and express appreciation for all that they have, but that doesn’t mean that they’re ungrateful or that you’re doing a bad job. We’re here to reassure you that with the right tools, you can foster a sense of gratitude and connection within your home this holiday season. 

It’s a great idea to carve out some time to talk through gift limits and priorities as a family so everyone knows what to expect. Listen to what’s going on for your kiddo, make room for big emotions, and give them your full attention to express whatever comes up so that they feel heard and validated. It can be helpful to limit their ad exposure and stay away from toy unboxing videos. Try to normalize disappointment and make a plan together if they receive a gift that they don’t like, sharing the importance of kindness while also honoring their feelings. 

Use the 5 languages of gift-giving

Take time to explain all the different ways that someone can give, which doesn’t always include buying your child’s top-rated wish list item. A great tool for the holidays is using the 5 love languages as a kid-friendly guide. 

• Gifting Words: This can include saying “Happy Holidays”, sending a holiday card, or calling on/near the holiday to check in and wish a loved one well.
  
  
• Gifting Kindness: You can give thoughtful, kind gifts that cost little to no money, like shoveling the snow in your driveway so you can make it to your holiday celebrations, bringing over leftovers to a neighbor, or taking letters to Santa to the post office.
  
  
• Gift of the Senses: Get cozy with this one by drinking a hot cup of cocoa with friends, holding hands at a tree lighting, making snow angels with the neighbors, or giving a big hug at a holiday gathering. 

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• Gifting Time: It’s so valuable to spend your time giving to others by wrapping presents for loved ones, watching a special holiday movie together, going to designated holiday services, or visiting others who may be lonely this season.
  
  
• Giving Gifts: Giving a handmade gift can make someone’s day. Make a holiday card, bake a treat, or create a one-of-a-kind piece of art. 

Try taking on a more balanced approach to help instill good habits early. For example, instead of focusing on gifting all toys or electronics, try to pair back and gift something small for different areas of your child’s wellness. Maybe that means a new book or game for intellectual stimulation, or a new football or baseball bat to encourage physical activity? A coloring book from their favorite movie or a weighted blanket would be good ideas for relaxation after a long day at school. 

Gifting this way also promotes inclusivity. That way, if they share with friends what they were gifted, they will be able to relate to families regardless of whether their big gift was an electronic or a pair of socks.  

And instead of solely telling your child over and over again to “say thank you,” try showing them different ways to express gratitude. Our kids are always watching and learning from us, so demonstrate gratitude by writing thank you notes or telling someone in your family how much you appreciate them. 

Why does gratitude matter so much? 

Targeted ads, dazzling window displays, and gift exchanges can easily make us all more materialistic than usual. And all of this gifting can put budgetary strains on families, as well as stress on kiddos who just want more, more, more! 

By taking a realistic approach to gratitude, it is possible to reprioritize what matters most to your family this season, while having fun and spending less. Teaching your child gratitude can help them to feel happier, less anxious, more satisfied, and can lead to their ability to create more meaningful connections. 

Remember that it can take time to get everyone focused on gratitude, so give yourself and your family space to do it imperfectly sometimes. The holidays can be a wonderful time of connection and celebration, but they can also be overwhelming as a caregiver. Be sure to reach out to the team at Bend if you could use extra support this time of year. We’re so grateful that you’re here!

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